Changes...

So, I went back through and read some of my thoughts from months ago. It's crazy how we change...but if we don't think about it, we don't think we are changing. Sorry that I haven't written about anything real funny or what I'm doing from day-to-day. I guess life here has become more "normal" and things...even though they are interesting to me, I don't think they're special enough to share. Here's some of my thoughts lately:

I'm coming home this summer. I'm missing Jamie's 21st birthday. I'm glad I get to go to a wedding/ weddings this summer! I am not keeping up with friends as well as I should be. I really want to cook a good meal...but that's so complicated to do. Where is Publix? I really want a Rockin' Raspberry Fruit Smoothie from Tropical Smoothie. Wow, I knew I liked shopping, but I'm having withdrawals! Is that bad? I want a hair cut cause it's drivin' me crazy...but I want to grow it out again. Ahh...the beach is only a few months away (I went on the roof of the 14th floor this weekend to lay out...not quite the same). I miss people. I miss Tallahassee. I miss driving. I drank 8 20oz bottles of water today (is that normal? I'm still thirsty!). I'm reading Redeeming Love again...it's SO good! Who am I right now? I'm stressed. It's grading time again. Meetings 24/7 get old. It's already April! Where did time go? My bike still needs to be fixed... I just want to hang out downtown. It's been forever since I've been out of this neighborhood. I really like being outside when it's warm. Dance is fun, but do I really have to perform in front of all of my students' parents? Seriously?! I want to sit in the passenger seat of all of my friends and families cars and just talk...for hours. Road trip? I want to get dressed up and go out somewhere. I love Xiao Li, Xiao Liao, he Xiao Zhang...they're such good friends! I'm loving the conversations I'm having with people lately. I don't like routine...especially when it means that I routinely miss something else. There's so much to be done before next year. I need to clean out everything here...how do I accumulate so much junk? We only have 8 weeks left of school! It's almost been a year since I graduated. It's been over a year since the car accident. I like Korean and Japanese food a lot! My kids have grown so much! They're so smart now!! Time is going to fly this summer. I could eat a sub from...anywhere. I have to move before I leave China; our apartment is going to a family. Music is a gift from Gd. Thank you! I haven't talked to dad in awhile. Miss you, dad. I'm anticipating culture shock. I'm not really having it anymore here. Things are normal. What are conversations with people this summer going to look like? Will I shut down and not share? Am I going to throw my toilet paper into the trash can when I get home? ...that might be my biggest dilemma. I can't wait to go to chrch when I get home. I miss it. It's not the same here. Thank goodness for facebook, skype and e-mails. Why do I think so much? It's annoying sometimes. I just want to switch it off. Communication takes so much effort. So much listening. So much time. So much sharing. Communication is good, but hard. I get to teach tomorrow! And it's late...I'm going to bed. (Thanks for walking inside my head for a bit).

Change by Bethany Dillon

My pockets are empty
Fear's such a thief
You know how that goes
I used to think
You couldn't love a mess like me
Then You came in so close

As my heart settles
You do the impossible

You change me, You change me
Thank You, Jesus
I can see You change me

Like a bullet in a wound
It needs to be removed
But only by You, only by You
And though I feel so stuck
The hope in Your eyes is enough

To change me, You change me
Thank You, Jesus
I can see You change me

Now that I see Your face
I'll never be the same

You change me, You change me
Thank You, Jesus
I can see You change me



Sin is so enticing sometimes. Thank goodness He comes near and draws us back to Him...even when we don't want Him to.