countdown

Let the countdown begin!

Countdown to:
-Jenny's wedding (36 hours)
-Report Cards (1 week)
-last tutoring with Philip (7 more classes)
-end of tutoring with Mary (4 more classes)
-last day of school (8 and a half days)
-mom and dad arrive (13 days!)
-depart from China (26 days)

Am I excited about these coming? All but one, which encompasses a ton of emotion, memories, words that need to said to people--all of which typically I do terribly! The anticipation of any event is usually worse than the actual event itself. I'm betting that when I leave, I'll probably be a bit numb. I'm trying to do my best to live in every single moment--even the ones I don't particularly enjoy. I've had smiles on my face while standing next to someone on a bus that smells, while being nearly pressed up against the window. I'm making time for anything that inconveniently pops into my schedule (actually, China has made me much more at ease-thank goodness). I want to be with people. I want to pack. I want to be done. I hate thinking about it all. I can't seem to leave work when I'm there, or I leave without getting things done. Same thing at home. I can't focus. A lot to do in a little time, and I think there should be an order to things. Christa, where are you with your list? Not worried about any of it though. Surprisingly, like I said, I just want to be in every moment. I want to be productive and spend my time meaningfully.

With all that though, there's this other side of me that wants time to slow down. I don't want this countdown to be over so soon. I don't know what's after. I know that this summer will be full of activity, but then?! I keep having to tell myself that moving home is the next thing, but I don't know exactly what I'm going to get myself into. Prayers would be appreciated!

Go Green

O God who loves the human soul

too much to let it go, 

so thoroughly impose Yourself

into the heaps and depths of life

that nothing remains undisturbed. 

Plow this life, Lord, 

until everything You overturn

becomes a fertile soil, 

then plant me, O God, 

in the vast plain of Your love. 

Grow me, strengthen me, 

and do not lift your pressing hand 

until it can boastfully unveil

a display of Your splendor. 

-B.Moore

airports

I just want to be inside one. I don't really want to go anywhere. I want to go somewhere, but I just want to be back here. I think this may be part of departing here soon? Not sure. Perhaps this is one thing I'll miss? Airports.


...weird