I can almost smell it!

I miss home. As going about my day today, home was on my mind. As I folded laundry on my bed, I wanted mom to talk to and I wanted to be folding with her. As I thought about what to do about dinner (and having really no possible options), I missed mom's home cooked meals. I miss having noise in the house. I miss calling mom, dad or Jamie and talking about stuff randomly. I miss driving. I miss the grocery store (I saw it on Gilmore Girls last night and got really excited). I miss the ease of everything. I miss the beach (looks like I won't be going swimming, or maybe not even touching the sand--you have no idea how much that depresses me!). I miss Panera Bread (I think I've mentioned that a few times before)...I miss cleaning (we have a house helper that comes three times a week--what?!...I know, I know...but I really miss cleaning). I miss laying on the couch with family all in one room. I miss drinking daddy's sweet tea after he just sat down on the couch after a long day...haha. Love you dad! I miss pestering Jamie...trying to snuggle in bed with her and her finally getting so upset that she yells...haha. I miss Jared asking me to do something with him randomly. I miss the fridge being full of food most of the time...(it is rarely full here)...I miss the pantry (what is a pantry?!). I miss shopping. I miss just going and looking and trying on but not always buying. I miss just walking in the mall...just because. I miss dressing up and "looking cute" and going downtown with friends. I miss a lot. I miss people. I miss Grammy and Grandaddy being so close to home and riding mom's bike to their house. I miss family gatherings at their house. I miss Grammy's cooking too! Soon...I won't have to miss. I'm kind of worried that even though I'll be home, I'll still be missing all of these things in my heart. How does home do this to us? Love and miss everyone!

You know you live in China....

...diarreaha has become a way of life.
...cars on the sidewalks seems normal.
...cars on the wrong side of the road seems normal.
...an errand that would take 20 minutes in the States takes 2 hours to do here (at least).
...when people talk about weird things they eat--and it's "normal".
...when children pee on the street.
...when on your way to school you hear 15 peoploe hawk up a loogie.
...when you see raw meat on the way to school.
...when you're sharing your bus seat with a chicken.
...when you see an entire family on a moped.
...when men are riding bikes together.
...when getting back home takes over 24 hours to travel.
...when you can't buy clothes or shoes because you're too big.
...when you get hollared at "hello" while riding your bike (my personal favorite--"hello laowai!" --out of a car. it means hi foreigner!...or that one time the little boy yelled, "Hello! I love you!" haha)
...when time is never really set (dad you'd fit right in here...you can always be late--except to work).
...when 12 people can eat a meal under 100 kuai ($15).
...when you go to the store and the wife charges one price and the husband charges another.
...when you can afford a house helper and a bike guard.
...when everyone is wearing heels while hiking (no lie!).
...when you become the tourist attraction.
...when a random person invites you into their house and treats you royally.
...when you send your kid out at night with no fear or reservations.
...when buildings are torn down to plant trees and trees are torn down to build buildings.
...when the trees have water IV bags hooked up to them.
...when the cars are on the sidewalk and people are on the street.
...when the public bus is only 1 kuai (14 cents).
...when going to the restroom is a social event.
...when you can eat a real hot dog.

"Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore..."

Wow!

So today...I went out to dinner with a little girl that I teach at school (cute little Malaysian girl) and her mom with another teacher. We were at this nice little Italian restaurant, right?! Ok...well the owner/waitress/chef/bossy woman is kinda odd...she doesn't have the whole, "whatever the customer wants" mentality. I watched her turn away customers tonight. In case you're wondering, she's not Chinese, she's Italian. She makes all of her customers call in and reserve a table in her little, quaint restaurant (if you can call it that).

Well, so after thinking, "hmm...that was kinda pushy" or "why did she just say that? wouldn't you say something more friendly to ensure business?" She was kind of rude to the mother that I was with, and a little impatient. I understand somedays people have bad days and that effects how they interact with others...but seriously?!

Here's what finally pushed me over the edge: I asked the other teacher if we could yarp before our meal. She agreed that it would be a good idea to do with this mother and daughter and so we asked them if it would be alright. Then, the other teacher began to yarp--thanking Gd for this little girl, asking for peace with their move to another country in a few months, thanking Him for the time we had to spend with them, and finally blessing the food. In the middle of the reyarp, I heard the owners voice and could sense that she was beside me. She tried to interrupt, but was unsuccessful. As soon as we all were done and looked at her, she leaned over the table and said, "You should be thanking me for the food, 'cause I'm the one making it! And, don't ever do that again. Customers get annoyed with that." WOW!

Let's just say the table was quiet for a few minutes until the mother decided to confront the "elephant left at our table" and discuss it and move on...

Changes...

So, I went back through and read some of my thoughts from months ago. It's crazy how we change...but if we don't think about it, we don't think we are changing. Sorry that I haven't written about anything real funny or what I'm doing from day-to-day. I guess life here has become more "normal" and things...even though they are interesting to me, I don't think they're special enough to share. Here's some of my thoughts lately:

I'm coming home this summer. I'm missing Jamie's 21st birthday. I'm glad I get to go to a wedding/ weddings this summer! I am not keeping up with friends as well as I should be. I really want to cook a good meal...but that's so complicated to do. Where is Publix? I really want a Rockin' Raspberry Fruit Smoothie from Tropical Smoothie. Wow, I knew I liked shopping, but I'm having withdrawals! Is that bad? I want a hair cut cause it's drivin' me crazy...but I want to grow it out again. Ahh...the beach is only a few months away (I went on the roof of the 14th floor this weekend to lay out...not quite the same). I miss people. I miss Tallahassee. I miss driving. I drank 8 20oz bottles of water today (is that normal? I'm still thirsty!). I'm reading Redeeming Love again...it's SO good! Who am I right now? I'm stressed. It's grading time again. Meetings 24/7 get old. It's already April! Where did time go? My bike still needs to be fixed... I just want to hang out downtown. It's been forever since I've been out of this neighborhood. I really like being outside when it's warm. Dance is fun, but do I really have to perform in front of all of my students' parents? Seriously?! I want to sit in the passenger seat of all of my friends and families cars and just talk...for hours. Road trip? I want to get dressed up and go out somewhere. I love Xiao Li, Xiao Liao, he Xiao Zhang...they're such good friends! I'm loving the conversations I'm having with people lately. I don't like routine...especially when it means that I routinely miss something else. There's so much to be done before next year. I need to clean out everything here...how do I accumulate so much junk? We only have 8 weeks left of school! It's almost been a year since I graduated. It's been over a year since the car accident. I like Korean and Japanese food a lot! My kids have grown so much! They're so smart now!! Time is going to fly this summer. I could eat a sub from...anywhere. I have to move before I leave China; our apartment is going to a family. Music is a gift from Gd. Thank you! I haven't talked to dad in awhile. Miss you, dad. I'm anticipating culture shock. I'm not really having it anymore here. Things are normal. What are conversations with people this summer going to look like? Will I shut down and not share? Am I going to throw my toilet paper into the trash can when I get home? ...that might be my biggest dilemma. I can't wait to go to chrch when I get home. I miss it. It's not the same here. Thank goodness for facebook, skype and e-mails. Why do I think so much? It's annoying sometimes. I just want to switch it off. Communication takes so much effort. So much listening. So much time. So much sharing. Communication is good, but hard. I get to teach tomorrow! And it's late...I'm going to bed. (Thanks for walking inside my head for a bit).

Change by Bethany Dillon

My pockets are empty
Fear's such a thief
You know how that goes
I used to think
You couldn't love a mess like me
Then You came in so close

As my heart settles
You do the impossible

You change me, You change me
Thank You, Jesus
I can see You change me

Like a bullet in a wound
It needs to be removed
But only by You, only by You
And though I feel so stuck
The hope in Your eyes is enough

To change me, You change me
Thank You, Jesus
I can see You change me

Now that I see Your face
I'll never be the same

You change me, You change me
Thank You, Jesus
I can see You change me



Sin is so enticing sometimes. Thank goodness He comes near and draws us back to Him...even when we don't want Him to.

Something to Consider...

Dr. Russell Moore has a convicting piece on his blog today. Here's the whole post (sensored a tad). (Thanks Rob for putting this up!)

Now these three abide: anger, outrage, and fear—and the greatest of these is fear.”

That’s not in the Book. But sometimes I wonder if I think it is.

The United States House of Representatives just passed a health care reform bill that I and lots of other Believers opposed. Such legislation should concern us. There are some bad consequences for the weakest and most vulnerable among us, principally unborn children. But should it also concern us that so many of us are talking today about how afraid we are?

Is it a problem that some of us who are tranquil as still water about doctrine and ecclesial mission are red-faced about Nancy Pelosi and the talking heads on MSNBC? Is it a problem that some who haven’t shared the Good News with their neighbors in months or years are motivated to vent to strangers on the street about how scary national health care will be?

It’s not that I think Believers should be disengaged from issues of justice (God forbid!). It’s just that I wonder if we wouldn’t represent our Savior and his kingdom better if we did it with a certain tranquility of Spirit, a tranquility that signals we’re not afraid of the rise and fall of temporal kingdoms and their policies.

The words “do not fear” and “don’t be afraid” are among the most common phrases on the lips of our Father—in both Old and New Testaments—and on the lips of his angelic messengers. I wonder why?

Isn’t it because “perfect love casts out fear” (1 Jn. 4:18)? Isn’t it because we “did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear” (Rom. 8:15)? Isn’t it because the Spirit prompts us not to “fear anything that is frightening” (1 Pet. 3:6)?

In fact, the H.S. through King David, in a context far more frightening than that of our own, calls us to “fret not yourself because of evildoers” who will soon pass but “trust in the Ld and do good” (Ps. 37:1-3).

Here’s why this matters.

Most of us don’t preach “hellfire and brimstone” sermons anymore, on hell and Gd’s judgment. But hellfire is exactly what J.C. said we should fear. “And do not fear the ones who can kill the body but cannot kill the soul,” our Ld tells his disciples. “Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell” (Matt. 10:28).

J.C. not only teaches this; he lives it. J.C. doesn’t fear the crowds attempting to stone him. He doesn’t cower before Pilate. He isn’t afraid of the Sanhedrin. He’s confident and tranquil, even when he’s being arrested. But when he faces drinking from the cup of judgment of his Father, he sweats drops of blood.

If we were half as outraged by our own sin and self-deception as we are by the follies of our political opponents, what would be the result? If we rejoiced as much that our names are written in heaven as we do about such trivialities as basketball brackets, what would be the result?

So if what you’re afraid of is a politician or a policy or a culture or the future of Western civilization, don’t give up the conviction but give up the fear. Work for justice. Oppose evil. But do it so that your opponents will see not fear but trust, optimism, and affection.

“So now faith, hope and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love” (1 Cor. 13:13).

Fear Gd and, beyond that, don’t be afraid.

Easy Granola Bars

Wish I had a picture of these. They're amazing! Thank you Cathy Letherer for the recipe. I'll post a picture once I've made them. Try them out for yourself though...



Grease a 9x9 in. square pan with butter.

Put into large mixing bowl:
1/2 c. corn syrup or malt sugar
1/2 c. peanut butter
1/2 c. brown sugar
1tbsp. butter
1tsp. vanilla extract

Heat in a microwave for 2 minutes, until a bubbly liquid. Then, add remainin ingredients below.

2 c. oatmeal
1/2 c. rasins or dried cranberries
2 c. rice crispies
1/2 c. sunflower seeds
1/4 c. sesame seeds
1/2 c. nuts (almonds, walnuts, or peanuts)

Mix and press into greased pan and set for 1 hr. Cut into squares. May sprinkle chocolate chips on top while warm.