Emotions

How do I put into words what I feel?

Sad. Confused. Excited about the possibilites. Open for new opportunities. Exhausted. I want home now. Tired of making mistakes. Lonely. Struggling with the rest of 'em. I'm not alone. He is with me. He is the bread of life. I get to share that. How amazing! Missing family. Missing friends. Missing home. Missing Christmas at home. Love teaching. Love the community here. Hard to get established. ...all at the same time. Love China. Love the people. Like the culture. Still adjusting to the food. Can't wait to see Midea. Can't wait to see Bo. Get to go to dinner with pondering Angelina tomorrow night. Had a feast last night. It was awkward. Chinese guy is interested. I'm not. What do I do? Still making mistakes culturally. I don't understand how though. I'm going to have to learn quick. This can't be happening. Ready for a break. In need of refreshment. Been probed by the "Juicy Fruit" lately (thanks Kirst for the ""). Words hurt. Words heal. He heals. Broken heart in need of mending. Every day is a new day. Mercy is new every morning. The sun will come out tomorrow! I have to say no to things. I haven't had a free night for two weeks. Exhausted. Did I say that already? Where do I fit in here? I want more. Father, I want more. Do I need less though? Do I need more? I want what I need. It's almost 2010! I'm teaching 2nd grade next year!! So much to do. What am I doing this summer? I miss Jamie. I want to talk with her. It's so hard to find time. My heart aches when I think about Jamie. Not for her. For me. For what I've done. I'm sorry. I feel like I've abandoned you. I love you. I have a limited time on earth. Am I wasting the opportunities that He gives me? Please don't waste them, Jessica! Know truth. Proclaim truth. Live by truth. It sets you free! I lift my eyes up to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from you, Maker of Heaven and Earth! Thank you.

No Beating Around the Bush (Oswald)

The thing of which we have to beware is not so much damage to our belief in Gd as damage to our ChrstN temper. “Therefore take heed to thy spirit,that ye deal not treacherously.” The temper of mind is tremendous in its effects, it is the enemy that penetrates right into the soul and distracts the mind from Gd. There are certain tempers of mind in which we never dare indulge; if we do, we find they have distracted us from faith in Gd, and until we get back to the quiet mood before Gd, our faith in Him is nil, and our confidence in the flesh and in human ingenuity is the thing that rules.

That’s a scary place to be in. I know that I have indulged my mind in many things that deter my thoughts from being pure. Mediums such as movies, some music, even books I read from time to time…things like shopping, and materialism. Gosh! The enemy really is trying to attack us from all sides…and the main way that he can is through our mind. I guess that’s why the Father knew what he was saying when He told us to guard our minds.

Beware of “the cares of this world,” because they are the things that produce a wrong temper of soul. It is extraordinary what an enormous power there is in simple things to distract our attention from Gd. Refuse to be swamped with the cares of this life.

Another thing that distracts us is the lust of vindication. St. Augustine pryd—“O Ld, deliver me from this lust of always vindicating myself.” That temper of mind destroys the soul’s faith in Gd. “I must explain myself; I must get people to understand.” Our Ld never explained anything; He left mistakes to correct themselves.

Another good point, Oswald. I can’t tell you how often I’m tempted to vindicate and explain myself to others for my actions or thoughts. I try to justify it. Although they may accept the justification, He does not! It’s His standard only. I should be living above reproach, in such a way that I should never have to even think about vindicating myself.

When we discern that people are not going on spiritually and allow the discernment to turn to criticism, we block our way to Gd. Gd never gives us discernment in order that we may criticize, but that we may intercede.

Whew! Good point. I think too much in our churches we do this. I’m guilty of not interceding and judging instead. If we really loved others as we loved ourselves, and if we really cared about their souls, people truly loving the Lrd with all their heart, soul, mind and strength, we would intercede.

Hope you can chew on this today. It’s been in my mouth for a few days now. It’s like I can’t get the corn out from between my teeth. Chew on it and brush!

Ps 123:3
Have mercy upon us, O Ld , have mercy upon us: for we are exceedingly filled with contempt.

Conversations

Recently, I’ve had some interesting conversations with people. I’m learning more about the world around me…the world I live in but don’t even really know. Hopefully you’ll learn a little more so that you can be lifting these things up.

One of them is that every hotel in China has a floor designated for business men…so that their so-called “needs” are met. Can you imagine how many families are affected by this? How many women with children? How much of a temptation it is for the men that want to keep their marriage healthy? Not to mention how many women this affects…how many of them feel worthless, helpless, used and abandoned. Wow! It made my stomach turn too!

Another one is that many countries all over the world are now beginning to buy gold because they cannot rely on the USD. Why? Well, let’s just say our president is printing too much green right now, which is making the worth of the dollar go down. I’m sure the result will be that in a few years we’ll be in an even deeper depression. That’s a little scary to think about. Lift up our financial advisors!

Grace Sandwich- 11/25/09

It all started in CLS (content language support). I was having my second grade students make Thank You notes to someone. I decided to make one with them. I had one student absent, so I was able to sit down with the students at their desks and work along-side them. As I was decorating my card, I was trying to think of who I could write it to. I decided on Grace Li. She is the first grade teacher’s assistant. She is a wonderful believer, who daily gives great hugs and good encouragement/ advice. I’m very thankful that the Father has brought us together and that we get to work together so closely.

I gave her my note at our Elementary staff meeting after school. Afterwards, she asked me if I would like to get some dinner. It was a little chilly, so I had kind of decided that I would just grab something and go home. I didn’t really want to be out in the weather. After her continual pursuit, I budged. I was excited to have been invited to go to her house to have dinner. She told me I could ride on the back of her moped (termed motor bikes here). I thought that would be kind of fun, but I was not really dressed for the cold. I told her that I’d catch a bus and be at her house between 6 and 6:30 pm. She told me to invite a friend so that I wouldn’t have to ride along. I liked that idea, so I asked my other friend/ roommate Grace. She also willingly came!

I would like to say that the food was really good. Pumpkin, broccoli, corn with ham, potatoes, crunchy sweet chips, and lots of pepper were on the menu. Oh and rice…the staple for all meals! It was delicious. We had a great time of fellowship, talking about life. However, it was quite an adventure traveling!

We left school around 5:30. I stopped by the convenience store on the way out of the Xiao Qu (neighborhood) to return the electric blanket that did not work. Then, Grace and I made the journey out to Guang Fu Lu (the main street on the south side of town that we live on…it’s the one our Xiao Qu is off of). As we were waiting to cross the street to get to the bus stop, we see the 181 pull away. BOO! These buses are few and far between. We sat and talked for about 30 minutes. I got a call from Grace Li, asking where we were. It was already 6, and she was expecting us any minute. We were still a good 30 minute ride from her. We decided to wait it out and sat expectantly at the bus stop. As the next 181 finally pulls up (after waiting about 45 minutes), it is jam packed and people are pushed up against the doors. There were also about 10-15 people at the bus stop that wanted to make it on the bus. We both quit (sorry, for all of you that wanted to hear that we pushed and shoved) and caught a cab.

I got in first and told him our destination: Chun Yuan Xiao Qu… (that is, Chun Yuan neighborhood). I said it with the right tones and everything. He didn’t understand though and said, “shen me?” which means “what?” I repeated myself. Then he repeated me. I said, “dui,” or correct. Grace and I are finally on our way…at this point it’s about 6:15. I call Grace and tell her we’re in a cab. She was fine with that, but didn’t want to start making food and have it be cold, so she asked me to call when we got close. I agreed. Well…our little adventure does not end there!
The cab driver turns his radio up, and when I realize that we’ve missed our turn, I politely say, “Ni hao” (hello) to get his attention. He can’t hear me, so I say, “dui bu qi” (excuse me)….then I start banging on the window separating us. He is still driving…farther and farther away from our destination. Grace and I start thinking he’s doing it on purpose. We start calling people that we can have talk to him. After calling four people Curt answers and talks to the cab driver. He tells him the correct destination, and the cab driver responds with, “eh! Chun Yuan Xiao Qu? Ohh ohh! Zai Jian.” Then he starts murmuring to himself as we turn around. Grace looks at me and says, “You said it just like that!” WHATEVER!

35 kuai later, we arrive. (It should have been about half that…). Only, we arrive in a part of the Xiao Qu that I am unfamiliar with. I’m not sure which way to walk. All the buildings look the same. OH GEEZE! …oh and it’s getting colder. AWESOME! Grace and I walked to what looked like a gate to a main street, and we recognized the street. It’s the one the 181 would have dropped us off at. And…just to add to our comical outing, a 181 passes by, a little less crowded. I figure out where we need to walk to, and we arrive hungry and ready to eat.

Like I said, the food was great, the fellowship was much needed. We left Grace’s apartment at 9:15 and arrived at the 181 bus stop at 9:20. The sign says the last bus came at 21:00. GRR.. So I have this great idea of walking around the corner to catch the 120 that will also take us home. So we walk down the street and around the corner, passing dogs (hungry ones), and many people…lots of markets, police standing at the corner, bikes, cars, buses… We get to the stop and the 120 doesn’t go to that one. Then I realize that it doesn’t come this far up the street, so we decide to walk down further so we can catch it. We walked and walked at a nice brisk pace. We were stopped at one stop light, and we hear this growl/ low shout. We scream and look over, and it’s our other roommate Tonya. She had been at English Corner with another teacher and was riding on her bike. It freaked both of us out though. We were already a bit skittish…from all the hungry dogs and men in black jackets.

Grace and I trekked down Xi Yuan Lu (Xi Yuan Street) and passed one of the turns we could have made to go home. I told her that it should be the next stop. About the time when we begin to see the next big road (Dian Chi Lu), I realize that we’re one block South of the street that the 120 runs along! We had been walking for about 40 minutes. We finally caught up with the 120 route at 10:03. The sign says that the last bus comes at 22:00. We’re thinking that it has not come yet (and hoping, so that we don’t have to have another eventful taxi ride…not like we hadn’t already had enough). There were still about 10-15 people at the bus stop waiting, and buses were still running. Our rest time at the bus stop was quick. We took the last bus of the night home. All I have to say is, “WHAT A NIGHT!” Oh and, “man, it was so convenient to just get in the car and go!” Be thankful for that today.

Tossing and Turning

I’ve had many interesting conversations lately. Some of which I feel like I’ve failed miserably at. I have no good words. That is just part of being human. As much as I try to sympathize with people, I feel like I’m only hurting them. Most likely I am.

How do you tell someone who is not a believer that just because they’re miserable living in America does not mean that when they return to China that everything will be amazing and just as it was? China has changed, friends are married, family members are now deceased and the city you loved has changed. How do you explain that it is all about being known and being loved by your Creator and intimately knowing Him as well?

How do you explain to another friend that simply cannot accept what you know to be true because He views it as Western thought and sees such hypocrisy among Americans? How do you differentiate between truth and mythology?

Why do some people hear and believe and others cannot? I know it explains it in the Book, but it just baffles me!

Father, I love people. I love these two…and the many others lately that I’ve talked to that I have no words for. How do I love? How do I show them you? I feel like a fool not knowing. But honestly, how many of us DON’T know? How many of us have given up? All those who have, say “I.” “I!”

He alone has answers. He alone knows true love. He alone knows life abundantly that we’re all searching for. How do we convey that to those who do not believe?

As a teacher, I have learned (and am still learning) how to ask questions that will make students think critically. I think for many people they don’t want to be told. They want to make the decision on their own. So maybe asking those really pointed and key questions is a good way. Let them wrestle with it and give them tools to do so. (?!)

Any ideas?…

Sharon..."like Rose of Sharon..?"

Many of you have heard the story that I told when I returned from China after my trip last summer. But for those of you that have not, I'll tell it again. I was leaving China and kind of discouraged because although I had taught English for a month, I was not directly able to share with anyone. I really wanted to, and I asked the Spirit to lead me during my last few hours in China. I met a girl on the plane. Her name was Sharon, "like rose of Sharon." I asked her if she was a believer, because she introduced herself in such a way. She informed me that she was not, but that she had a Jewish professor/ friend that gave her that name. We talked the whole 3 hour plane ride. I introduced her to the Word. I gave her my copy. I showed her how to use it. I pointed out where her name was. We talked about relationships between men and women and I pointed out Ephesians 5. We discussed the comparison there in that passage between Men and the Son, and Men and Women. We exchanged e-mails and parted ways. I felt good about our conversation, and was reminded that I need to be asking for Him to do bigger things. I need to want to be a part of bigger things that He can do through me if I put myself aside and listen to His leading.

I haven't heard from her since last August. This week, I got an e-mail from her. After being a little discouraged at work, it brought a huge smile to my face. I am on QQ now (which is like AIM in China) and we will have many more conversations. I'm amazed at how all we have to do is listen and obey...and He'll do the rest. All I wanted to do on the plane ride was sleep. Instead, I opened my mouth and said, "hello." I thought that after our last e-mail that I may never hear from her again, but lo and behold, I did! I wonder why she contacted me again. ...I guess I'll find out. ...more to come soon!

...thoughts about work...

Am I doing all I can? Why doesn't it seem to be working? Am I really helping? These are questions I'm sure most people make during their lifetime. I was faced with them today. Sure, I'm constantly trying to do something different that might be more effective. However, when I think of my students and I begin to cry...hm. I feel like I'm failing them. There isn't enough time. I don't have them for long enough. They're forgotten about by the classroom teacher. The students say things like, "he doesn't understand." The child just sits there...gazing into my eyes, then looking away shamefully. He licks his lips and looks down again.

What do I do? Cry and Pray. Pray and try something else. Talk with the other children. Pray that this child will know that he is so smart. He is worth it. He is...

Oh Father, use me. Shape me and mold me. Love the kids through me. Teach them what they need to know. Most importantly, may they see You.

i-tunes radio--a piece of home

I recently discovered that when you click on I-tunes on your desktop, you can click on the radio and pull up radio stations from all over the world--yes, even here in China! Hallelujah for that! I love listening to the new music that I'm missing out on...and dreaming of driving and singing in my car (now I'm singing in the classroom during planning...or to myself in my room)...I love hearing the news too. WEIRD! Anywho, this is my new favorite song:

YOUR HANDS by JJ Heller
I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away

I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when...

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave...
I never leave Your hands

Date with Tonsie

"Where's the comment card?"


"Hello?! NI HAO! ...(I'm hungry!)"

Tonya and I went to dinner tonight. We went to one of my students' family owned and run Japanese restaurants. It has really great food...I've had it before. Only, this time Tonya and I went...with no other Chinese speakers...and no one to order for us. There was no buffet this time either!

We walked in, and the lady asked us in Chinese "how many?" So, Tonya held up two fingers. Her two fingers split pretty wide...and if you hold up your thumb and your pinky, that means 6 in China. Tonya's pointer and middle finger looked kind of like that! We're pretty sure the lady thought more were coming. She put us way back in the back of the restaurant in our own private room. We had to take off our shoes and sit on the floor...on pillows. Totally Japenese style. (pictures coming soon)After escorting us to our room, she gave us the menus and poured our tea. Then she quietly exited the room.

After about 30 minutes of waiting for someone to come back to take our order, we opened the sliding doors and looked out to the guys making sushi. There were waitresses and cooks all over the place. Some of them looked at us--several times! We even shouted "Ni hao", meaning 'hello', which is used to get a person's attention here. Nothing! Nobody acknowledged us or came over to attempt to take our order.

Finally, dad walks by (the student's dad), and says "Ni hao!" He asks if it is only two of us, and I said, "dui", which means correct. So a waitress comes in and clears the other dishes from the table. ...And LEAVES! We waited another 10 minutes before I told Tonya to go up to the sushi bar with the menu and tell them our order. I would've done it myself, but I had knee high boots to put back on...and she had slip-ons. It only made sense! (haha). So I snapped pictures while she and I laughed at this obvious cultural faux pas. We had no clue what to do (Do we stay and wait some more? Do we flag down someone again? Do we put our shoes on and walk up to the bar and order?), who to talk to, or how to talk to them. We compared our service to America and were cracking up. Tonya was like, "Where's the comment card?"

I was cracking up...Tonya was practicing every Chinese word she knew...which just perpetuated the ridiculous laughter coming from our room. Maybe that's why they escorted us to our own room?...They knew we'd be loud. Every time someone walked by without acknowledging us, I began to grunt/ growl. That made Tonya laugh. It was hilarious...meanwhile...our tummies were empty.

FINALLY, someone came to take our order. It took awhile to see our food. Tonya ordered spicy chicken and rice with miso soup...I ordered some kind of beef and potato dish, that was supposed to come with rice, but it did not. In addition to ordering from the food menu, Tonya decided to be brave and order a "smoothie" that was on the "special drinks" menu.

The smoothie came first. She smelled it before taking a sip, and thought it smelled like it had alcohol in it. So she sipped, and then put it aside. It ended up being a whole lot of yogurt and apple. Apple does kind of have a weird after taste...a bit like something fermented.

The food then arrived...a bit to our surprise, it looked different than on the menu. Just smelling Tonya's food made my nose start to run. Wowza! Lots of "la jiao"(or red chili's)! Mine came out as a heap of potatoes that had been boiled. It looked like beef stew...no rice...4 sliced carrots and shredded beef. Mine tasted really good. We ate our meals...kind of (Tonya couldn't finish hers...it was too spicy).

When it came time to ask for the "mai dan" we had no clue what to do. At this point though, we had embarassed ourselves and I'm sure we had made several waitresses feel uncomfortable. In China, they get embarassed for you. We decided that because we had parent teacher conferences in the morning, it'd be best to just get up and leave. We had spent at least 2 hours at the restaurant! CRAZY! I passed dad on the way out, and he said, "zai jian!" We paid at the counter on our way out (way to be observant on the way in!).

Oh the fun of being in a new culture where embarassing yourself is just a part of everyday life! :-D

Words

Words

The Word

In the beginning was the Word...the Word became flesh...the One who is at the Father's side--He has revealed Him.

Tonight I met with Jenny for 4 hours! She tutored me for 3 hours, and then we went and had dinner together. While at KIF (Kunming International Fellowship) this morning, I was thinking and yarping for this evening that I knew I'd spend with Jenny. Though I really appreciate all the time she spends with me and patiently says things over and over for me, I don't just want our time to be about me and learning Chinese. I want there to be more to our time. Quite honestly though, I don't know how to bring things up in conversation. I knew though that He would use me, despite my insecurites in sharing.

Tonight, after learning how to put some Chinese words/ phrases together, Jenny and I headed to the noodle shop (the one where I did not get what I ordered...a few months ago). I ordered my own meal today! That was exciting. (I guess I did receive a little instruction from Jenny.) Anyway, while we were eating, Jenny paused and reluctantly asked me what I did this morning, half way knowing what my answer would be. I told her that I went to the fellowship. So she asked me if I believed in..."how do you say? Chris-t?" ...wow...she opened a door! I walked in. We talked about the Lamb. She informed me that her boyfriend, who is a soldier is a believer. Jenny has a Chinese "book", but she finds it confusing. I offered to explain it to her, during the times when we meet for Chinese lessons. She seemed happy to accept my offer. I can't wait! Thank you Ld for taking my insecurities and using them for Your glory! Wo ai ni, Yesu Jido!

Grace Learning American Culture

I went out to dinner tonight. It's a sweet little place called Salvador's. The owners are a couple--I believe the guy is from America and his wife is from China. The menu includes some of my favorite Western dishes here...Salads, Quesadilla's, and Panini's!! They also have a really good smoothies. I asked Grace Li, one of the assistant teachers I work with to come, and told her I'd treat her to dinner. There ended up being a lot of girls there, but Grace and I talked a lot with each other.

In addition to having a full-time job at KIA, she is also a full-time student. She takes classes at Yunnan University. She's an English major, and right now she's taking a class about American Culture. She learned today about friends and how we make friends in America. It is very different from how Chinese make and keep friends. She was shocked and amazed that we did things this way, so she wanted to check with me and others at the table to see if it was really true. After she told us what she'd learned, we all concluded that it was true.

Grace told me a story she had heard in class. A Chinese man had gone to America to study. He wanted to meet some Americans and learn the culture. He met a classmate, and they hung out a lot--went to dinner, went to events together, etc. The Chinese guy considered the American his best friend. The next semester, they did not have the same class, and their schedules made it more difficult to get together. The Chinese guy was hurt by the American who had failed to call him to hang out. He went to the American and asked if they were still friends. The American said yes, but their definition of friends was vastly different.

If you are in contact with anyone from another country, take time to get to know them and their culture. Learn what is expected and be cautious...don't just assume! Let's change the way we are. Slow down. Take time to get to know people. Share openly with people. Share life experiences, interests, failures and successes. Share the One who has made it possible for us to love. It needs to happen. We're hurting people just because we don't take time to focus on someone besides ourself. Love is patient, Love is kind...Love is not self-seeking...

Good ol' Oswald

(paraphrased)

Matt 28:19

J.C. did not say--Go and save souls, but--"Go and teach" (disciple) "all nations," and you cannot make disciples unless you are a disciple yourself. When the disciples came back from their first task they were filled with joy because the devils were subject to them, and J.C. said--Don't rejoice in successful service; the great secret of joy is that you are rightly related to Me. The great essential of the worker is that he remains true to the call of the Father, and realizes that his one purpose is to disciple men and women to J.C. There is a passion for souls that does not spring from God, but from the desire to make converts to our point of view.

The challenge to the worker does not come on the line that people are difficult to get saved, that backsliders are difficult to reclaim, that there is a wadge of callous indifference; but along the line of his own personal relationship to J.C. "Do you believe that I am able to do this?" Our Master puts that question steadily, it faces us in every individual case we meet. The one great challenge is--Do I know my Risen Ld? Do I know the power of His indwelling Sprt? Am I wise enough in Gd's sight and foolish enough according to the world, to bank on what J.C. has said, or am I abandoning the great supernatural position, which is the only call for a worker--boundless confidence in C.J? If I take up any other method I depart altogether from the methods laid down by Our Ld--"All power is given unto Me..., therefore go.

How He Loves Us

My new favorite song...I'm sure ya'll hear it on the radio all the time over there...

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves.

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
And Heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

Check This Out!

I would highly recommend the book Eternity in Their Hearts by Don Richardson. It talks about how people have a God-shaped hole in their heart and soul, and how the unreached people groups around the world have the sense that there is a one-true God...it reminds me of the verse, "For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and his nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse," found in Romans 1:20. Check it out!

Buses, Coffee, and Zhang Yi

Yesterday afternoon was one of the best I've had here in Kunming! I went to Dairy Queen downtown (sorry I don't have proof--they had a sign that said no pictures), and went shopping with Grace, one of my roommates from California. Then, I caught a bus back to where I needed to catch another one, so that I could hang out with Jenny (Zhang (family name) Yi (given name, which means happy)).

I walked to a bus stop around the corner, and not knowing which one to get on (out of about 6 buses that stopped there), I just picked one and hopped on. Well, it went up to the next intersection and turned right. I needed to just go straight down Xi Yuan Lu, but...it wasn't looking too goo. So, I called some of my Chinese friends to ask them which bus to take. Too bad I was meeting at a place where I only knew the English name...they had no clue! So, I walked back to Xi Yuan Lu, and got on the next bus that came. Guess what?! It did the same exact thing! I ended up way past Xi Yuan Lu though, because the next stop was way down the road (Renmin Xi Lu). I know these roads, and usually I ride my bike down them. So, I got off the bus and walked back. Only this time, I was really far east from Xi Yuan Lu. I ended up walking toward the Think UK apartment buildings, which I could kind of see in the distance. Overall, it was about an hour commute from downtown to Chicago Coffee...one that should have been half that. It was quite an adventure! I'm still not sure I could figure it out on the buses!

Anyway, I met up with Jenny at 4pm (I was only a few minutes late...) for Coffee at Chicago Coffee (owned by Americans) to learn Chinese. I was not expecting to meet up with her this week, based upon the way she left it open last week, and considering that I had not really talked with her much during the week about it. We stayed at Chicago Coffee for about 2 and a half hours! I learned a lot, and our friendship blossomed. :-) I asked her if she would like to go get dinner. She said sure, so I took her to a little squatty restaurant that I like around the corner. After conversing with a 12 year-old boy at the squtty and finishing our noodle, chicken and veggie soup, we took a few different buses back home. We plan on meeting again this Wednesday after school for more Chinese. This time, she'll come over to my apartment. I'm really excited, because she seems to be very open and happy to hang out with me and she has a lot of patience with me. She's a great teacher!

When we were saying goodbye, she said, "I'm so glad that you asked me to teach you Chinese. I have had such a great time, and I am so happy to meet you." I expressed my gratefulness to her; for all the time that she is sacrificing to teach on a weekend to a foreigner. I told her that I'm excited about our friendship, and that I would see her at school tomorrow.

I walked around the corner to the little store I frequently visit to buy a drink before heading home. The owner told me that I was "kai xin," which means happy. He thought real hard about the English word for kai xin, and he finally told me happy ('cause I had no clue what he was saying). I asked him if he was saying 'I am happy'..."wo shi kai xin?" He said "dui, dui," which means correct. It was a fun little exchange after meeting with Jenny for hours (it was about 9pm at the store...).

I walked back home, beaming. It's so neat to hear people compliment you, or notice things about you that you know have nothing to do with you...but all about Him, and what He's done in and through you. Praise the Father! May these two come to know you, Dad. You alone are the only One who can make one truly joyful and full of life! May they see you in me and want to get to know you more!

Jenny

KIA is sharing a campus with a local Chinese school. I am on the second floor, and on the second floor down the hall, 1st and 2nd grade Chinese students are also learning. Jenny (one of the first grade teachers) has become one of my friends recently.

Our friendship started by just saying "hi" in the hall. Due to the fact that KIA took over most of the campus...which included the bathroom section, the Chinese school uses our bathrooms. They will soon have their own to use, but they're not quite finished yet. Jenny would walk her students down the hall in two straight lines. They were quiet, until they saw me, and then they'd all burst out into "hello! hi! hello! hi!" So I of course respond back, "ni hao." I acknowledged Jenny one day and she responded with a load of English. I was a little surprised, so we talked for a bit and then I went into my classroom.

A couple days later, I gave her an old Chinese book that was for learning English. She accepted it and expressed her thanks. After that, we were just kind of friendly in the hall. Until...last Friday! I walked down to her classroom around 6pm (I know, why was I at school still at 6pm on a Friday?!). The Chinese schools eat dinner at school too. So, they don't officially get out of school until 7pm. CRAZY! They start school before us too. Insane!! So, I walked down to her class and I spoke with her. I asked her how she'd been...just catching up. She offered to teach me Chinese, so I readily accepted. More than anything, I just wanted to become friends with her, in hopes of sharing parts of me that mean so much (you know..).

We met on Sunday for my first lesson. It's great learning Chinese from a 1st grade Chinese teacher. She taught me the vowel sounds, the tones, and then she taught me to read some characters (about 16) and then the pinyin (the phonetics for Chinese). It was quite entertaining to me when she held my hand to show me how to write the letter 'a'. She asked me to continue to write it for the remainder of the line. Then she looked at me and was like, "oh...you do this all the time. Sorry!"

Monday morning we met and I gave her some tea (apparently some really nice tea), and she gave me a Chinese book. I'm really excited about this new developing friendship. It will be difficult to meet up because of the lack of available time. She is at school M-F from 7am until 7pm! Keep her in your thoughts and lift up future times that we'll meet to the Father who makes all things clear and new. May she find new purpose in her life very soon, and joy that comes in the morning.

Un dia del Jessica, la professora.

After several requests from many people to continue to write, I’ve decided to force myself to do it. It is exhausting keeping up with everything. Sometimes I feel like I’m living in two different worlds. Oh wait! I am. I love being here and living life here. I don’t want to miss anything. It’s hard to make myself sit down and just write or journal or e-mail. I have kept up with e-mails pretty well, but other than that, it’s been a little more effort. I’ll get off my “soap box,” as Christa would say.

I think I will take you on a little journey in the day of my life in China. How shall I start? Once upon a time… nah! When I get up in the morning… (TMI) (This is why I don’t enjoy writing. I struggle sometimes!) Well, most days I get up around 5:45 when the sun is just arriving in Japan (or thereabouts). Then I hop in the shower and get myself pumped up for the day. This part is a necessity, because I am with 6 -8 year-olds all day! After pumpin’ it up, I walk my 4 minute walk to school and go visit the mail room. Usually there is nothing in my box in the morning. Nobody else is at school at 7:30 (because school starts at 8:30), but I like to have time to sit in the classroom and review my lesson plans before I jump into “teacher mode.” Martha, my mentor, friend and co-teacher that I share a classroom with usually gets to school around the same time. We get to share, encourage and bounce ideas off each other. Without her, I’m pretty sure I would have no creative juices flowing in this now short-haired head of mine! Usually there is a meeting in the morning (except for Tuesdays), so I attend that. Occasionally I have before and after school duty. Duties are no fun! I mean, I guess they’re alright, but I just hate watching over 100 kids by myself! Too much liability!

2nd grade is the first class I get to go into in the mornings. I teach reading for an hour to the mid-level reading group. I have a few ELL (English Language Learners), and a few native English speakers. It sure is a fun group…ALL BOYS! It’s a little rowdy at times, but they sure do say some funny stuff. I get a break after the first hour of teaching, while the kids go to their special area and morning recess.

I head into 1st grade next to facilitate reading groups 4 and 5 (out of 6). I love the kids in my groups. They say some of the funniest things! Lunch and recess is my intermission between 1st grade reading and 1st grade writing. It’s really such a blessing to see children progress so much in their writing. I now only have to remind them every once in awhile to put the period at the end. AND they can identify the “naming” part of the sentence (or subject) and the “telling” part of the sentence (or predicate).

My afternoons are a bit crazy. I go straight from 1st grade writing to 2nd grade CLS (Content Language Support), which is where I pull the 7 ELL students out and work with them for 30 minutes. It’s really such a short time. It’s hard to get much done. I find that the days when I just focus on one skill, is the day when I feel most productive with the kids. There’s just too much to cover though! I have to remember to have fun and enjoy teaching the little things. If I cover them more extensively, they’ll be more likely to retain the information in the future. After CLS, I take the 2nd grade ELL’s back to 2nd grade and I help Lisa with writing. Finally, at 2:20, my day is finished and I have planning until 3:30. However, most teachers know that “planning” never means that you get to actually sit down and plan. NOPE! I end up covering for other teachers, testing children, pulling them out again to work on something, etc.

That’s my fun, exhaustive day at school (while the students are still there). AFTER the students leave I grade papers, talk to other teachers, attend meetings, go to Chinese class, plan my lessons, write e-mails, clean up the classroom, go through some files and talk to parents.

Usually after I leave school, which ends up being around 5:30 or 6 (but has gone until 7…once), I go eat dinner with some of the young female teachers here. It’s nice to get on my bike at the end of the day and just ride for a half hour for food! Haha. I get to enjoy that same ride back after I’m fed and satisfied too. It’s a great way to end the day. That is primarily why I don’t get on my computer every night, and especially why I don’t write! Actually, I haven’t even read much. I love to read. What’s wrong with me? I did get to finish a book over the Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival. That was an accomplishment. 

Okay…I’ve written enough for today…especially since I’m writing at school. I knew I wouldn’t do it when I went home, so I decided that I would type here and then publish it later. I’m sure I’ll get more writing done this way. I’ll make it part of my job.

What on earth am I here for?

Seriously! I thought I was coming to China to serve, not to be served. I thought I was coming to live a life of sacrifice, not luxury. I thought being a teacher meant to leave your mark on children’s lives, not to be impacted myself!

…I’m learning a lot here. Can ya tell?

So, I have several students whose parents are workers here. They live simple, humble lives. I’m comfortable around these people. They have me over for hamburgers or a typical American meal. Then I have a select few students whose parents are in high society. These parents either have really high expectations, and want me to feel the weight of it by making me uncomfortable when I am pampered and given gifts, or they are just really grateful….but most likely, it’s a mix of both.

One of my students lives in a townhome (which is pretty much unheard of in China). Mom informed me in an informal way that the house cost about 300 million RMB. The exchange rate is 1 USD to 6.8 RMB. Hmm…you do the math! So her and her husband own several restaurants all over China. She invited me over to lunch on a Saturday, but I already had plans, so I told her that I could do it after my fellowship on Sunday. She said “that would be great, see you then!” So…knowing that her Korean fellowship was up on the North side of town, I hauled myself up there on my bike (which took about an hour and 15 minutes) and called her after the meeting was over. She came around and picked me up in her nice Volkswagen Mini-SUV (I’m not even sure what it was because it was so nice…). I left my bike at the location of the fellowship, in the lobby of the building. We drove for about 15-20 minutes (further North) to her home. She lives in a secluded gated neighborhood that does not look like China…on a mountainside. It was hilly throughout the complex, with beautiful landscaping and huge stone houses and townhomes. I was amazed and tried to control myself so I didn’t make her feel awkward. She and her bao mu (not sure how to spell the pinyin or Roman alphabet representation of Chinese sounds)… (bao mu means house helper/ nanny) made a really nice spread for lunch. We had a shrimp/ salmon/ oyster pasta (with homemade tomato sauce, which was delicious) and salad (with basil leaves). Then there was fruit for dessert. Followed by baked fish flakes/ chips (not a huge fan, but apparently it’s a big Korean favorite). After playing the Wii for a bit (or my student playing and me pretending to play with the one that had bad batteries), she took me for a long walk (hour and a half) around the ‘hood’. I felt like I was in a really nice neighborhood in America. There were cars outside most houses (HOUSES in China…this is a BIG deal!), people in really nice clothes, even just really nice, clean, everyday people clothes! ….

After watching the kids play in the water at the end of our walk, she asked me if I’d like to make a pie. I wasn’t sure what to say, and at this point, the sun is starting to go down…and I still have at least an hour and fifteen minute bike ride back home. I was thinking, “ooh, I’d love to…but the sun is headin’ over to mom and dad right now…so, eh….” “SURE!” I said. So, we went inside, and she began to make dough from scratch. I’ve not really ever done that before, so that was fun to watch. Oh yea, I forgot to mention….she wouldn’t let me touch anything when she was preparing lunch. She did kind of let me help. I usually do clean up and wash the dishes, because I don’t know how to cook…but she wouldn’t let me do that either. I felt totally undomesticated, lazy and spoiled! She also decided that while she was making dough, she would just go ahead and make dinner, so she made homemade pizza. Holy moly…best pizza I’ve ever had! She makes her own tomato sauce…and boy is it good! So yea…I stayed for pizza and pie. She sent me home with plum juice that she makes, pickles (that she taught her bao mu to make, so I took the ones she made), two pineapple pies, and homemade strawberry jelly. She actually didn’t send me home, she drove me home. But remember that bike? Yea…we picked it up and put it in her nice car. Dirty bike inside nice car. EWW! Once again, I felt kinda awkward. She blessed me and treated me and gave me her time.

We had about an hour long drive home, so we talked about all sorts of things. …One of them being that she just wants a friend. It’s kind of weird to be that for her, because I am her son’s teacher. But, I feel like that is something that the Father put right in my lap. I can be a friend to her. One thing I’m realizing is that teaching in China at this particular school is far different than it would be in the States! I hope to be able to share more time with her and share my culture and holidays with her. I hope to talk more about our shared faith. Though she professes to be a follower, she does not have the joy that one should have. She is lonely and feels like an outcast in her Korean fellowship. It’s primarily because of money. She has it and it makes people uncomfortable, but isn’t that what being a follower is all about? Being uncomfortable for the sake of the gospel? Loving people and becoming selfless so that others are blessed and come to know the power of His love and grace? “Love is patient, love is kind….it is not self-seeking” It would be wise for me to heed these words. Often I think about time…and rush out of conversations that could be fruitful. “…love is not self-seeking.” People just need love, and to feel loved, they need our time. I need to open up my schedule and not rush out of meaningful moments, just because I have something else to do or something on my own agenda.

I hope you’ve been blessed, because I sure have been! He’s teaching me powerful lessons. …In ways I didn’t think I would be learning them. Who knew?! 

My First Week of School!

I finished my first week of school teaching--successfully exhausted! It was such a wonderful experience. Most likely, due to the fact that everything leading up to the first day was stressful (preparation from furniture and unpacking boxes that contained a lot of things that I had to figure out what they were...), I felt pretty at ease the first day. Things did not go exactly as planned, but for the most part, they worked out well. A bunch of teachers ended the day by going to McDonalds, which to us is a big treat!

I share a classroom with a woman named Martha. She is such an awesome woman, who loves the Father. It is so great to be able to collaborate with her and bounce ideas back and forth throughout the day. She's very supportive and easygoing. Most teachers are very possessive of their classroom, their students, their time etc...but she is not at all. I enjoy going to work everyday! It's so nice to start off my career like this.

Martha and I go into the 1st and 2nd grade classrooms during Reading and Writing times, and then for 30 minutes in the afternoon, we pull out 14 kids total from both classes and provide more content literacy support. The kids love coming to the class, which makes it a fun time to be with them, and have a bit of my own classroom. It is such a short time though, so it is hard to be productive and get much done.

Most of the children I'm working with are Korean. I have one Japanese student, and one Chinese student...and a few from Hong Kong. One of my favorite little boys (I know, I shouldn't have a favorite already!) is from Japan. His family owns 3 restaurants in Kunming. His mom comes to eat lunch with him sometimes too. He is such a chatter box, and he makes me crack up. It's hard to be serious when kids say some of the funniest things. For example, this particular little kid was in our CLS class (where we pull them out for 30 minutes), and he looked at the fruit of the Spirit poster and said, "Oh! The fruit of the Spirit! I know all those. (pause as he walks toward the door to leave) Self-control." Haha... Martha asked him if that was one he needed to work on. Another little first grader was in my class on Friday. I pulled him out because he can't hear the sounds yet. He knows most of the letters, but not all of the sounds that match them. He cracked me up on Friday when we got to the letter 'I'. He looked at the picture card with the letter on it and pinched his nose up like he was thinking real hard. After waiting for him for a bit, I asked if he needed help. He shook his head no, so I waited a little bit longer. He finally said the letter I. Then I asked him if he knew what the picture was. He didn't really respond, and his eyes were all squinted...he was thinkin' real hard. So I waited for him, and finally he said, "ICE HOUSE!" I busted out laughing. He got this huge grin on his face and started laughing too. I affirmed that it was an ice house, but that we called it an igloo. He laughed and repeated the word igloo. ...Today I had him again, and he was doing a lot of the squinting, and pinching his nose up, so he could think better. haha. I love working with kids!
It's so great when they finally understand something too. Last week, I had a second grade student that is fairly low...beginner english level. We were on the mat in the back of the classroom reading Arthur's Reading Race, and Arthur challenges D.W. He has her prove that she can read 10 words, and if she does, he'll buy her ice cream. She does, and at the end, she teaches Arthur a word: WET PAINT! This is after the fact that Arthur sat down on a bench that was just painted. One of my students was not really comprehending what had just happened. I took a moment to lean over and point to the picture where Arthur is sitting on the bench, then turned the page to where Arthur's pants are all white, and I pointed to the words Wet Paint. This little boy started laughing and saying "wet paint! haha. wet paint!" Oh I love learning and little kids. So much fun!

Thank you, Father for confirming over and over that this is where I'm supposed to be and this is what I'm supposed to be doing!

Rice or Noodles?!

I spent last weekend working in the classroom. We finally got cabinets Friday afternoon, so Saturday and Sunday we unpacked and cleaned everything we could in the short period of time. There was a layer of dust on everything when we came back the next day. It's jsut a part of living in China, I suppose.

All of the Elementary teachers were at the school until about 9 or 10 on Saturday night (with the exception of one, that happened to be there until 2am!). We took a quick break once Kim came back with dinner from the rice and noodle shop. Well, I opted out of getting dinner when she offered. I should have taken her up on the offer, because I ended up fairing the weather too and walking down the street to the rice and noodle shop. They were closing up shop, and cleaning the kitchen. I felt bad, but I was hungry, and knew that had to have something in there for me to eat for 5 kuai (or 80 cents). I tried to motion to her to pull out the Chinese/ English menu by practicing my "interpersonal dance" skills. She wouldn't give it to me though. Thankfully, this older guy stepped up and translated for me. He asked if I wanted rice or noodles. I told him rice. He said ____ fan (which is some kind of rice). She said _____fan mayo _____ mien (which is noodles). I sensed that she was saying somehting like, "no...she's not getting rice tonight! I already cleaned up the rice, and all I have left is noodle soup with lamb. If she's hungry, she'll eat it." (The rice or noodle dishes come with meat and veggies too...and you can get it served as a soup, steamed or pan fried. Well, I wanted fried rice with pork and veggies. Sounds good, right? (Especially for only 80 cents!)

I sat down, after thanking the kind man for ordering for me. A few seconds later, I was shouted at from behind the counter. The lady was motioning that the noodle soup was for me. It smelled alright, but it was not what I ordered. I didn't feel like protesting though. I asked for a to go box, and left the little shop.

I had another similar scenario last night with Tonya. We rode our bikes about 40 minutes west to go to Chicago Coffee. On Tuesday nights, they have English Corner, where the locals and English speakers come for English Conversation. We had not had dinner yet, so we decided to walk around and see what we could find. There were a few bakeries, but we needed/ wanted substance. The other coffee shop we had it said they had food, but their menu was completely Chinese...and that was just not going to do! I didn't want to just randomly pick a dish! (You're thinking, com'mon! where is your sense of adventure, right?) We walked around the block, and upon coming back to Chicago Coffee, we passed a humble little restaurant, but the food smelled good, and it looked appetizing. We walked up to the window, where we could see what they were cooking. Someone started to tell us to go back and pay first (which is usually not the case here...most of the time you pay after you've eaten). They told us it would be "ba kuai," which is 8 kuai, or about $1.20. We said "dui" to everything, which means correct...and once again, set ourselves up for an adventure. We sat down and waited for our food. This sweet elderly woman working at this restaurant spoke to us in Chinese, and almost mothered us. She for sure was having compassion on us, and just wanted to see us fed. From the little Chinese I do know, I could tell that she was telling us what everything was, and why she was mixing it all in this boiling bowl of water. We had (we think) raw chicken, maybe some kind of fish and bacon (?! who knows!) and some herbs and some veggies. Then we poured the rice noodles into the bowl. Everything cooked, and then we ate it. It was amazing! I might just have to go back there and eat it again. The Chinese brag about how delicious their food is. I like lots of foods, but I can understand why they brag. They have so much flavor in every dish. They use mint, cilantro, ginger and peppers. Tonya and I ended the meal by saying "hao chi" (you actually say chur for chi...so I wonder if the straighteners are really suppposed to be called chur's not chi's?!), which means it is "delicious!" I could tell she was telling us to come back more. She liked having us and wanted us to try more of their food. I might have to take her up on it.

I do have to say though, these two experiences (among many, many others), is making me realize how much I really need to learn Chinese pronto!

Everyone Needs Compassion

About a week ago, I was sitting in my window seat reading the Word. I was a little distracted by what was going on in the parking lot below me. There were people walking, cars driving past and workers going about their task. I observed one lady dressed in green doing yard work. Here, they all wear a light green uniform if they are working in the yard. This particular woman was climbing up and down a laddar, trimming vines on the side that did not really seem to matter. That side faced an open field, and the vines were not bothering anyone! She seemed hot. Her pants were rolled up, she was wearing a hat and she repetitively wiped her brow. I just sat there thinking, "I should go and buy a water downstaris and take it to her." I even consulted my Maker, and asked if I should. I felt the nudge. I was too selfish though. Worried. I'm not sure what I was worried about. It still is weighing on my heart. I know that there is grace. I know that I am full of many faults. I think it will serve as a great reminder during the rest of my time here. I can't waste a moment. I can't waste an opportunity. When I feel the nudge, I need to act. How many times have I let opportunities go by. I, by myself, am a shy person. BUT, I am not my own! May I decrease, so that He may increase more and more.

Selflessness

May the Father bless you with discomfort
At easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships
So that you may live deep within your heart.

May He bless you with anger
At injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,
So that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May He bless you with tears
To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war,
So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and
To turn their pain into joy.

And may He bless you with enough foolishness
To believe that you can make a difference in the world,
So that you can do what others claim cannot be done
To bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.

Amen
- A Franciscan Benediction

Rest and Restoration

Today was a day of rest from work. All of the staff went to Hui Du for a day of fun. There was bowling, ping pong, card games, billiard games, swimming, and badminton.We also had a delicious lunch at a five star hotel. A nice treat, for sure.

I decided once I returned home in the afternoon, that I did not need to go back to doing lesson plans and fretting about August 31st, the first day of school. I went and sat on my window seat and spent quality time with my father. I also read a book titled Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets them Free by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. So far, it has been a great blessing. In all honesty, I didn't really want to read it. Obviously the prince of this dark world did not want me to read it.

The first chapter is about the lies we believe as women. Many of us feel frazzled, exhausted, burned-out, overwhelmed, confused, angry, frustrated, discouraged, defeated, depressed, ashamed, emotionally unstable, uptight, insecure, lonely, fearful and yes, even suicidal. There is HOPE! The bondage that we are in may be bondage to our past, bondage to the "fear of man", food etc. The Son of Man said, "I have come that they might have life and they might have it more abundantly." Are we experiencing abundant life, or are we just coping, struggling, existing, surviving? We can be free, joyous, contented, loving, radiant, confident, gracious, peaceful, and stable. Isn't that what we would like to become?

In her book, Nancy goes back to the beginning of time and the fall. She states the obvious: you and I have been lied to; we have been deceived. Deception was and still is crucial to the father of lies. ...was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies (Jo. 8:44). We need to OPEN OUR EYES and evaluate what is going on around us. We need to take time to see a lie for what it is, rather than accepting it without thinking about what we are allowing to be planted in our hearts.

Nancy also points out the progression of deception that leads to bondage. Listening to things that are not true is the first step toward ultimate bondage and death. After we listen, we dwell on the lie. We begin to consider and engage the Enemy in conversation. After we dwell on it, sooner or later, we believe the lie and then act on it. It's like a seed that takes root, is watered and eventually bears fruit. Only, it isn't good fruit. It's spoiled and rotten. How do we get rid of it?

We need to identify the area of bondage, identify the lie(s) at the root of bondage and then replace the lie(s) with TRUTH. Afterall, the truth will set you free!

I have to say that I am going to be walking through this process myself. I have already begun to identify areas of my life that are not truthful. I hope that the light shines forth in my heart to expose more. I have to let go of what is comfortable. To truly be free, I have to let go of myself. I die to myself, that He might become greater and I might become less.

Transportation

Getting from one place to another takes a long time here. Your options are either to get a taxi (which starts off at 8 kuai...about a dollar and some change), take a public bus (which stops frequently), or ride your bike. Unless it's far, far away, I prefer to ride my bike.

Currently it is the rainy season here in Kunming, so my investment in the XXXL poncho has proved to be worthwhile! I have learned my lesson though, and that is to travel light. I like to pack everything I can in my backpack, but on long bike rides, it hurts your back. The basket on the front of the bike can't hold that much weight either.

I think the funniest thing about bike riding is when people that are riding on their bike decide to keep up with my pace, just to ride next to me. It's kind of awkward, but I think it's hilarious!

Fang Xiang (Directions)

August 4th-5th, 2009

I woke up about 45 minutes after I had fallen asleep last night to mom crying in my doorway. She then proceeded to move the stuff off my bed and crawl in bed with me. She hugged me and said she “wasn’t ready to do this yet.” A couple hours later, it was time to get out of bed and prepare for a very, very long day! I made sure that I shoved everything in that I could, dressed comfortably and gathered all the much needed documents.

We left the house about 15 minutes past what we wanted to. When we went to curbside check-in, the e-ticket I had printed was not working. I had tried to do something about it the day before, but Delta would not let me check in early on their website. I kind of figured it would be a problem. We got it all situated easily once inside, and even though my big bag was 50lbs over, they didn’t charge me. (yay!)

The flight from Miami to New York was interesting. I sat next to a Jewish lady and her son. She was reading the book of Psalm. She said that by the end of the month, she will have it finished. We got to talking about some things (politics being one of them...), but I think His reason for sitting me next to her was to get me in the Word on that flight.

Once I got to New York, I did not have a boarding pass printed, so I knew I needed to figure out where Air China was located and get there. I had fun talking to lots of people along the way to make sure that I was headed in the right direction. They assured me that I was, and eventually I came down an escalator and voila!....there was Air China right in front of my face. I ended up sitting at the gate for a bit and talked to a girl from Ohio State. She is returning home for a bit while she writes her thesis for her Masters Degree. This other dude joined us in conversation too. We ended up meeting up again in the Beijing airport when we landed.

On the stinkin’ long plane ride to Beijing, I found myself surrounded by children. In any other situation, I would be pretty excited. I just knew I wasn’t going to get much sleep. Almost immediately though, I got over it and enjoyed conversing with the little boy next to me, Ivan, and his mom Stephanie from Brooklyn, NY. They were voyaging to her hometown in China for 40 days. I have to say that this soon-to-be 1st grade boy was extremely active and was rather mouthy! I asked her if he said stuff like he was saying before he entered Kindergarten in the public school system, and she said no. Interesting! Of course, he is being raised in Brooklyn. That probably has something to do with it! There was a little baby girl traveling back to China with her grandparents. I was pretty certain that the grandmother did not speak any English, so we smiled at each other a lot. The little baby girl did so well on the plane—she slept for most of it, and when she wasn’t sleeping, she would sooth herself by rubbing her head or her back. It was pretty cute. I also saw her afterwards at baggage claim, and she was strapped on the back of her Granny. Cute stuff!

Anyway, I’m sitting in Beijing airport now. I rushed through the quarantine checkpoint where they check your temperature with infrared and a computer—that was pretty crazy! Then I went to get my final boarding pass with Air China for the flight to Kunming, and they informed me that I had to re-check my bags for a domestic flight. Oops! I did that and then asked the lady at the counter which gate I was at. My pass did not have a gate number on it. She whispered something, and I couldn’t hear her, so I asked her to repeat. She did so, and I still couldn’t hear her, so I just shrugged and walked where everyone else was walking. I ran into an officer next, and asked him where to go. …Long story short: I just had to go through security because the whole terminal was designated for domestic flights. Yea, they think I’m a stupid American, I’m sure. I’m waiting for the flight to Kunming (it’s late), and I’m anxious to see what He has in store for me—on this flight and in the next week, month, year, and beyond!

Zai Jian

I have had a wonderful time at home preparing for this journey I'm about to embark on. I leave in just a few hours...nine to be exact. Soon I'll be at the airport saying, "Zai Jian."

Tonight, we went to Prime Catch for dinner. Grammy and Granddaddy came too. We had awesome meals! Then, Grammy gave me some di-cut letters she came across and the map of the world that she had finished sewing together for me. I bought the map, so that it could go in my classroom on the wall. I envisioned it on a wall with faces of the kids in my classroom posted on it next to their passport country. Now, it looks like it would make a perfect blanket. hmm... She did a beautiful job, as always. After we all decided that hanging out in the parking lot was a little toasty in this wonderful hot month of August, we voted on coming down to the house and playing Sequence and making fruit smoothies for desert. (Great idea, whoever that was)!

Saying goodbye has proved to be harder than I thought it would be. I mean, I knew it would be hard, but I didn't think I'd be battling homesickness this soon. I haven't ever really been homesick. Squeezing family and listening to their muffled sobs in my ear isn't helping. I'm so thankful that I have family to cry with and rejoice with. To SING with and laugh with (by the way, tonight during Sequence, we were all playing some sort of game, that only we would understand...singing lyrics to any song, humming tunes and guessing lyrics, and making random noises with our mouths). I love my family, and I will miss hugs back rubs. I'll miss singing together and talking in the kitchen. I'll miss borrowing a purse or a shirt from Jamie's closet and watching Jared get taller than Jamie. I'll miss you all so much! Wo ai ni (I love you).

Can't Sleep

I'm not sure why I'm still up. I haven't slept tonight at all, which never happens to me. I guess it could be the fact that in 4 days, I'm walking onto a tube in New York and walking off in Beijing.

I got some packing done today. I also shipped a 59 pound box at the cheap rate of $248.25! The contents were all classroom supplies. I'm told that a lot of the things I put in the box will not be found there. The irony: most everything says "Made in China."

Stuff! Stuff! Stuff!

I have too much junk! This weekend, Dad and I went back up to the apartment in Tallahassee and picked up the rest of my belongings. Trying to clean it out and figuring out where to put it all/ what to do with it is going to fill up my week pretty quickly.

"EW"

Saying "Farewell"

I really don't like saying goodbye to people. I've found that it isn't that difficult for me to say bye though. I want to go, and I'm ready to go (or at least my mind is--most of the time), but it is hard to watch the people I love react when we have to hug for the last time, for a long time. Some I know I'll probably never see in person again (especially some college friends). Other friends have shed tears. All have whispered encouraging words in my ears, and for that I'm grateful!

Side story: I was thinking last night about how I used to cry when I said "bye" to someone. It was only in instances when I never thought I'd see that person ever again. I've now come to realize that I will. It is easy to travel. Even to places far, far away.

I don't cry when I say goodbye, but it hurts a lot. I'm sure I'll cry at the airport. I have every summer that I've left home. I'll miss friends and family, places, and foods. I'm sure the water works will open up with ease during the traveling hours/ days (ugh!) and throughout my time across the bigger pond.

Savoring Moments

So, I really don't like people to read my writing. At all. I figured that I should start one of these though, just so people can keep up with me.

Tonight my parents hosted a little get together for me. It was really well put together. Mom worked hard all day preparing...making sure the porch, that nobody went out on (because, let's face it--it's summer in So. Fla...seriously!), buying cakes, fruit dishes, sweeping the floors, buying a new coffee pot (because Jared broke it last week while putting away clean dishes), making coffee, making punch, making dinner, etc.

I had a moment tonight where I sat back and thought about the people that showed up. The people that showed up were either family members, close family friends, or middle school and high school Sunday school teachers, kids church leaders, babysitters, mentors, or my adopted grandparents--people that have meant so much to me. I was touched by their meaningful and heart-felt words that they spoke to me. I know that I am not alone. They all have let me know that they are committed to praying for me, and I know that they will. After all, our fight is not against flesh, but against the powers and forces of this dark world.

I am certain that the spiritual warfare that I will encounter is going to be significantly greater when I'm more isolated and on my own. Sure, I'll be surrounded by believers. Everyday I will probably cross paths with several thousand people. I'm moving to a city where the population is larger than L.A., and only a little bit smaller than NYC. It's swarming with people! I'm sure I'll be downcast, lonely, and be constantly attacked by the one who comes to steal, kill and destroy. Thankfully, I have a Father that loves me--unconditionally, and who offers life, and life abundantly.

Thank you to all that came tonight. Thank you for your love, support and prayers. Thank you Mom, Dad, Jamie and Jared for being right by my side, and for supporting me.